All The Same
by hpsailorstarluver
Summary: Something happened that forced Haruka to hide her femininity away from the rest of the world completely. However, there is one violinist that can't be fooled. Can she steal Haruka's heart back from the shadows of her past? Or are they doomed to be lonely?
1. ch 1 A Horrible Nightmare

_Please no! Please stop! Stop it! Leave us alone! Please, please stop! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!_

* * *

Haruka woke up in a pool of sweat. She swallowed hard and walked out onto her balcony. _That damn nightmare again. Fuck. Why can't I stop dreaming about it? That happened so long ago and yet I can't shake it._ She looked up at the stars and the moon smiled down on her. She chuckled and felt a little better and went back inside. Haruka regretfully took a shot followed by another and slumped down onto her piano bench and played and played.

Haruka rubbed her temples._ I must have fallen asleep after, _Haruka groaned as she saw the bottle was half empty. _Classy Tenoh. Drooling all over your precious piano, real sophisticated. _She burped as she stood up and sauntered over to her bed where she collapsed. She thought about her memory and cringed. _It's not enough that I had to live through that. Now I'm reliving it through my dreams. _She looked at the bottle and then decided against it. _I want to be able to at least walk at Juro's ball tonight. _She looked at the clock and thanked the clock for showing her 6:09 a.m. Plenty of time to sleep off her drunkenness.

Haruka winced as she looked at her bloodshot eyes in the mirror. She turned and laughed as she thanked the heavens for it being a Masquerade Ball. _Tonight is your night Haruka. Let's make it big. _

* * *

She had to admit to herself, she cleaned up nicely. Her golden brown hair was as neat as it could be but she could never manage to flatten down one hair that always stood up. Her bloodshot emerald green eyes were totally hidden by her delicate mask. Her black and white tuxedo was pressed perfectly and she smelled heavenly with her priceless Clive Christian Perfume as her finishing touch. She grabbed her music and walked out the door.

When Haruka arrived she was happy to see all of the rich looking people heading into the door. She said her name at the door and was welcomed by Juro with a big smile.

"Juro why isn't your mask on?" Haruka hugged him and breathed in her old friends comfort.

He noticed her long hug and squeezed her tightly. "Are you ok Tenoh? Don't tell me tonight's entertainment isn't up for the job." He laughed and punched Haruka gently.

"You know Juro, whenever you give me that smile I really consider changing my taste to men," it was her turn to exchange the punch.

He laughed and gave her the smile again and then he lead her to the piano. "Oh Tenoh, you'll be joined for a final song by a violinist I hope you don't mind."

Haruka grunted. "Taking all my tips away from me eh Juro?" She laughed and shook her head. "Of course not Juro whatever makes you happy. It's all for your lady friend any way isn't it?" She laughed as Juro shushed her. "Okay okay Juro your secret is safe with me." He slipped his mask on and they parted with a kiss on the cheek. "I'll see you later Juro."

Haruka smiled and sat at the piano. She felt at home here it was her time to shine. The music began and it poured out from her soul. She played and soon everyone quieted down and cheered for her. After awhile everyone started to dance to her music. People wrote checks and tucked them into the top hat she put out for tips.

When the final song came it didn't even feel like any time at all had passed. Everyone took a break and ate before the final song was played. Haruka munched happily and wondered all along whom the violinist would be.

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed the short chapter! Please read and review and don't forget to keep reading! **

**~hpsailorstarluver**


	2. ch 2 The Violinist and The Pianist

Juro walked over to Haruka briskly, "Tenoh have you seen the violinist? I can't find her anywhere."

Haruka swallowed her food and shook her head. "No Juro I haven't. I can handle the song without her though."

Juro huffed angrily and threw up his hands as a girl in a cupcake kind of dress appeared behind Haruka. "Damnit Michiru! Where have you been?"

Haruka turned around to look at her partner in music and was stunned. Her hair was a shade of sea green she had never seen before. She was tall, shorter than Haruka, and perfectly toned. Haruka wished she could see her face but it was covered by a loud mask of swirling colors.

Michiru shrugged. "I'm sorry sir I was getting a breath of fresh hair and I had to tune my violin. I could have just went onstage with an out-of-tune violin if you would have preferred."

Haruka laughed. "Oh go easy on her Juro. Your perfect night is still going to be perfect now leave us to make our wonderful music."

Juro sighed. "Oh you're a basterd you know that Tenoh? Don't mind him Michiru he's just a charmer." Juro winked at Haruka, keeping the identity of her being a woman a secret.

Haruka hopped out of her chair and grabbed Michiru's gloved hand in hers and kissed it gently. "Hello miss my name is Haruka Tenoh, how are you this wonderful evening?"

Michiru pulled her hand away from her and simply ignored Haruka and went on stage with her violin.

Haruka whistled and nudged Juro. "Thanks for calling me a boy Juro I appreciate it," she said earnestly. "Damn she is a hot one though isn't she?"

Juro shook his head. "First of all Tenoh I don't understand why you try to convince everyone that you're a man Tenoh. It happened so long ago. When are you going to let it go? No one will treat you the way that those men di- -"

Haruka scowled and yelled her head off. "SHUT THE FUCK UP JURO YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT! YOU DUMB FUCK YOU CAN SHOVE THIS FUCKING PARTY RIGHT UP YOUR ASS I'M NOT- -" At this point a few heads were starting to turn. Michiru leapt off the stage gracefully and grabbed Haruka's arm and pulled forcefully. She lead her to the bar and ordered the most expensive whiskey they had- - make it a double.

Haruka downed the whiskey like the expert she was and started sobbing. Haruka grabbed onto Michiru and sobbed into her chest. Michiru cradled her with confused thoughts swimming through her head. "Haruka," Michiru's voice was that of an angel. "Haruka you need to calm down. Juro is your friend I can tell that you didn't mean what you just said. No one saw the outbreak okay it's too loud in here. Let's go play the song for him. I'll be right next to you."

Haruka thanked God for her mask that concealed her puffy eyes. She cursed Juro and his words of the incident. That was none of his god damn business. He had no idea what _she _went through. The thought of it made her cry again and she refused to play.

"Michiru I can't play it's hopless," Haruka whispered and sniffled at her piano.

Michiru took a breath and started performing beautiful. Haruka was blown away at her talent. The whole room shut up immediately and moved closer to the stage. Everyone slipped money into the hat which was now overflowing. Haruka was entranced and was lost in the music.

Haruka's fingers acted by themselves and joined into the music. She wasn't even looking at her sheet music; her heart was caught by every note. Michiru and Haruka made eye contact and Haruka noticed her sapphire eyes through the mask and was absorbed into her soul.

They played in sync for what seemed like an eternity and when their wonderful music was over, they were breathing heavily as if they had just run a marathon. They didn't break eye contact and Haruka was overwhelmed by a colossal amount of emotions she hadn't felt in the longest time. Michiru had captured her heart forever and it was never to be given back.

* * *

**hpsailorstarluver**


	3. ch 3 Perhaps a Kiss

Their eyes only broke once when they bowed and Haruka had casually wrapped Michiru's arm in hers and led her to the bar.

"Give me a shot of your best whiskey and a Cape Cod please," Haruka downed her whiskey and handed Michiru her drink.

Juro's younger brother and his band followed Michiru and Haruka. Everyone seemed annoyed at their obnoxiously loud rock music and would have loved to continue listening to the classical music instead. Haruka couldn't be happier however. It gave her just the opportunity she had been hoping for.

Haruka placed her hand on the small of Michiru's back, "Michiru I want to thank you properly for what you did," she said leaning in but whispered too quietly for Michiru to hear.

Michiru motioned that she couldn't hear her so Haruka lead them away from the bar and into a private and quiet closet. Haruka shut the door. "Ahh that's much better isn't it? I couldn't hear myself think out there."

Michiru nodded. She looked down at her feet. It wasn't like Michiru to like she wasn't in control of the situation. Haruka made her too nervous to even look her in the eyes and she hated every second of it.

Haruka smiled. "Oh come on Michiru please let me thank you properly." She grabbed her hand and kissed it again. "If it wasn't for you I would have made a complete idiot out of myself! You saved me a huge embarrassment and possibly a best friend if he'll ever talk to me again."

Michiru swallowed hard. She wished she could have finshed her Cape Cod, maybe then she'd stop acting like such an awkward twit. But how could she not! Here she was squeezed in a closet almost fully against Haruka's body. She was starting to sweat.

Haruka sighed. "I try so hard not to think about that day and… well I guess Juro just forgot how much it hurt me. Anyway," Haruka grabbed Michiru's chin and forced her to look her in the eyes. "Thank you Michiru. I really appreciate it." Haruka leaned in and Michiru's breath caught in her throat. _Kiss me kiss me,_ her heart was screaming_. _But her mind knew better. _NO YOU SHOULDN'T DO THIS MICHIRU! _Michiru couldn't move.

Haruka leaned in and licked her own lips. She could feel Michiru's sweet breath on her face and wanted so badly to kiss her. Her mind fought against her. _You can't Haruka. It's not time yet. _Haruka shoved the thoughts away and gently pressed her lips against Michiru's. The kiss was short and somewhat meaningless but her heart swelled with joy and she decided not to press her luck until another day. "Well anyway, thanks for everything Michiru." She laughed and left with the door closing behind her.

* * *

Michiru stood there in the closet breathing heavily. She shook her head and decided to get out of the closet before she really destroyed any chance of seeming normal to Haruka.

She walked back to the door and downed her Cape Cod and then ordered another one. She wished she knew where Haruka went. She felt like an idiot just sitting here drinking waiting for her to come back. And what was worse she was actually praying for another kiss. Why was she acting like such an awkward fool? She could get any man she wanted…maybe that was why she was acting so strangely because Haruka wasn't a man at all. Michiru giggled. How could Haruka fool anyone? Her perfume smells heavenly and although she tries to cover herself with men's clothing, her figure shows plainly through.

Michiru groaned. She was already thinking about Haruka's naked body. _Great_. Michiru tried to reduce her fear with alcohol. Maybe if she got a little _too _tipsy, Haruka might offer to take her home and then she might get another kiss. Whatever the case, Michiru was completely infatuated with Haruka. Why, she didn't know. I mean she had barely said one word to her. However, that was about to change. She would stop acting like an idiot and act like her true self… Then perhaps she may finally get to see Haruka's face… and perhaps get another kiss.

* * *

Haruka sprinted from the closet into the men's bathroom. She removed her mask and splashed cool water on her face. She felt like she had just betrayed _her. _No. It _had _been a long time like Juro said and Michiru was absolutely gorgeous and she had made her feel better so easily. _This could be a good thing for me_. _I could honestly be so happy with her…but what if she finds out I'm actually a woman… I guess I just can't let it get that far. Damnit. Why is life so hard?_

**Please R&R!**

**hpsailorstarluver**


	4. ch 4 Loser

Haruka went back to the bar with her mask securely on her face. She downed another whiskey for courage and whispered in Michiru's ear this time loud enough so Michiru could hear her. "Do you want me to take you home now Michiru?"

Michiru smiled at Haruka and shook her head. "Can we talk for a little bit? Do you want to go outside?"

Haruka beamed. "That sounds great," she said not trying to sound too excited at Michiru's heavenly voice.

Michiru slipped her hand in Haruka's and Haruka couldn't hide her smile. She cleared her throat as they breathed in the fresh air. "God a guy could really get used to this view," Haruka said as she looked at her under the moonlight.

Michiru laughed and did a little twirl. "Tenoh, you can stop putting on the act. I've seen through your mask."

Haruka pulled Michiru in and started dancing to imaginary music. "You're a very poetic dancer Michiru but I have to say I have no idea what you're talking about."

Michiru pulled off Haruka's mask. "You're a woman Tenoh. It's completely obvious. With the way you hold yourself, your wonderful perfume, your body..." Michiru's face turned bright red at the mention of her body.

Haruka chuckled. "Oh so you've been looking at my body Michiru? Particularly my breasts I'd say. And why do you keep calling me Tenoh, you _did _call me Haruka before and I'd prefer it, especially if you are already looking at my body." She smiled and flexed for her.

Michiru pulled away and apologized. "I'm sorry Haruka I didn't mean to…"

Haruka grabbed her around the stomach and kissed her forcefully. The kiss deepened and Michiru wrapped her arms around Haruka's neck. She slipped her tongue into Haruka's mouth and Haruka moaned.

They forgot where they were. Michiru's head was spinning. Their tongues swirled around each other's mouths and it was ecstasy for both of them. Juro interrupted by laughing. "What's going on here?"

Michiru and Haruka broke apart and Haruka cleared her throat. "Thanks a lot Juro."

Juro paid Michiru and Haruka. "No thank you guys for playing today," he patted them both on the shoulders. "I'm getting lucky tonight thanks to you Tenoh." He whispered, winked and walked away.

Michiru laughed awkwardly and rubbed her arm. "Sorry about that Haruka I didn't mean to be so appealing. You should see me without my mask on." Michiru and Haruka laughed. They linked hands and Haruka offered to drive her home.

They held hands and talked all the way home and now it was time to say goodbye. "Michiru," Haruka said as she helped her out of her car. "Thank you so much for everything again. Please give me a call. Haruka wrote her number on the card and tucked it safely in Michiru's purse. Michiru giggled. "Of course Haruka, but you know I don't quite remember what you taste like."

Haruka smiled and slipped her tongue inside Michiru's mouth again tasting her sugary breath. Haruka pushed Michiru against the door and reached up under her dress. She pushed her body up against hers and traveled up and down her thigh it was giving her goose bumps. She wanted more but she knew that she had to pull away. _Please just a few more minutes of this bliss. _

When Haruka pulled away she was miserable. "Please Michiru don't make me leave."

Michiru laughed and kissed her. "Go away Haruka," she kissed her. "Come back tomorrow. Please I don't think I'll be able to stand it without you."

Haruka groaned. "Oh alright Michiru." She kissed her again and pried herself away from her. "I'll be back tomorrow. What time do you wake up?"

Michiru laughed. "Get out of here you loser." She blew her a kiss and went into the house.

Michiru pulled off her mask. She reached into her glove and looked at the card with the number on it. Haruka signed it with a heart. _Why does she make me feel like I can fly? _

Michiru, feeling more guilty then she ever had before reached into her bra. She slipped something onto her finger and walked into the house.

"Hi my love how was the party? I missed you," a man walked over and kissed her sweetly.


	5. ch 5 What have I done?

**WARNING: THERE ARE VERY GRAPHIC IMAGES PORTRAYED IN THIS CHAPTER. IF RAPE OR VIOLENCE BOTHERS YOU PLEASE SKIP THIS CHAPTER. SEE THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE FOR A SUMMARY INSTEAD.**

* * *

Driving home, Haruka felt like screaming she was so happy. Michiru knew her true identity and didn't care. She cursed herself for forgetting to take off Michiru's mask. _I don't care if she's ugly as hell. She has a great personality and accepts me! _

Haruka wished she wasn't as exhausted as she was when she walked in the door. She wanted to stay up and think about the night and Michiru more but her body forced her to go to sleep.

* * *

_Please no! Please stop! Stop it! Leave us alone! Please, please stop! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! They ran as fast as they could but it was too late. They found us! Rocks were thrown at them and Haruka felt blood dripping down her face. They were trapped with nowhere to run. It was too dark where were they coming from? Haruka protected her as much as possible but she couldn't quite shelter her whole body. There were too many rocks and laughter echoed through her ears so she couldn't even think. Please just leave her alone take me instead, please! Haruka begged. One of the boys grabbed Haruka and threw her down on the cement. He ripped off her pants and ordered the boys to grab the other girl by the garbage can. Haruka screamed and kicked the leader in the chest. LEAVE HER ALONE!_

* * *

Haruka woke up screaming with tears burning her sweaty face. She shrieked in pain and bolted upright. She found herself still dressed in her tux. She ripped it off quickly wanting to be free. She ran out onto her balcony and let her nude body cool off. Haruka breathed in deeply trying to erase the horrible memories. She paced back and forth sobbing with the memories of pain stabbing her brain.

She ran to the shower and turned it on cold. Her teeth chattered as the ice water froze her skin. She put her head back and let the water caress her body. She turned off the water and shook out her hair and slipped on the tile. Her body hit the ground hard and she groaned in agony, not at the pain but of the memories. They flooded back to her.

* * *

_Please no! Please stop! Stop it! Leave us alone! Please, please stop! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! They ran as fast as they could but it was too late. They found us! Rocks were thrown at them and Haruka felt blood dripping down her face. They were trapped with nowhere to run. It was too dark where were they coming from? Haruka protected her lover as much as possible but she couldn't quite shelter her whole body. There were too many rocks and laughter echoed through her ears so she couldn't even think. Please just leave her alone take me instead, please! Haruka begged. One of the boys grabbed Haruka and threw her down on the cement. He ripped off her pants and ordered the boys to grab the other girl by the garbage can. Haruka screamed and kicked the leader in the chest. LEAVE HER ALONE! The leader was too strong he pushed Haruka down and slammed his cock inside her. She screamed with agony but the boy punched her in the face and she fought as hard as she could to be free of him. He was too strong. She was sobbing as he took advantage of her. He rode her and beat her until he came inside her and knocked her out cold. She awoke gagging on her throw up. She turned on her side and wiped her mouth as she saw her lover on the ground. Her whole body ached but she crawled to her side. She shook her. Please, please wake up. Wake up! She cried as she saw her clothes were gone and her body was carved up with marks of "lesbian" and "dyke." Haruka screamed. Please please come back I love you. Haruka listened to her where her heart should be beating but there was nothing there. Only a pool of blood and a lifeless body with tears left on the face._

* * *

The images were too much for her. She tried with all of her might to shove them out of her memory but was unsuccessful.

* * *

_Her lover's body being covered and the paramedics saying there was nothing they could do for her but they were sorry. Sorry? You're sorry? You have no idea what I just went through! Haruka ran. Her body ached and she collapsed puking once again._

* * *

"STOP PLEASE GOD STOP!" Haruka begged.

* * *

_Her lover's coffin being lowered into the ground, with Haruka watching at a distance because her lover's family and her own family would surely shun her now after everything._

* * *

Haruka banged her head against the ground over and over until she blacked out.

* * *

_Haruka went into the house with no fear. She was completely wasted and had a piece of metal courage in her hand. She looked over the boy in his sleep. Ironic how peaceful you look in your sleep you devil. How did you manage to stay hidden all of these years? I should ask you before I kill you because after I'm done with you I'll be hunted for years. You can beg all you want boy. You're done for. It's sad that you're the only one who didn't go to jail. Her words slurred together. If you would've been locked away they could have protected you from me. She laughed as she shot the boy over and over until her gun was empty. She pointed the gun under her chin and tried to shoot herself but there were no bullets left. She cursed herself went hunting in the boys garage for a bottle of gasoline. She smiled as she saw it and dragged it into the house. Haruka lit a match and lay down on the couch waiting to die. A fireman grabbed her and carried her out of the house. She realized what she had done and ran as fast as she could. What have I done?_

* * *

**Hey faithful readers. I cried writing this chapter but it was necessary for the story. For all of those who didn't read it, basically when Haruka was younger, she had a lesbian lover. We don't know why yet, but we suspect because of anti-gay movements, but they were raped and her lover was killed. A couple of years later she killed the boy who raped her and tried to kill herself but was unsuccessful and is currently on the run from the law. Please keep reading and reviewing.**

**~hpsailorstarluver**


	6. ch 6 What have I done? Not again

Michiru flashed her husband Taiki Kou. "It was wonderful dear." She had been so happy before and the second she laid eyes on her husband, her mood was draining.

"I'm going to bed dear, goodnight," Michiru wanted to escape before her dreamy mood was gone.

"Your Mother called today dear." Too late, her mood was ruined. The next bit of news made her even angrier. "She wants to know when we are having our first child."

Michiru scoffed and threw her hands in the air. "I swear to God that woman! She forces us to be married and now she's trying to control when I'll give birth too? Hasn't she controlled my life enough?"

Taiki gazed out the window solemnly. "I don't make you happy." It wasn't a question it was a fact.

Michiru rushed over to her husband. Although she wished with all of her heart that she wasn't married to him, he did treat her well. "Taiki dear don't talk like that of course I'm happy."

Taiki shook his head. "Well then perhaps we could finally lie together as husband and wife." His eyes were burning with anger and she didn't know why.

"But dear I told you that- -" Taiki groaned and pulled her in close to him. There was a paper in his hand and it scratched her bare shoulders.

"Oh I forgot you like to sleep by yourself. Did I not respect you on the honeymoon? Did I not treat you with the outmost respect?" He was shaking her now. And those eyes, they burned into her like daggers.

Michiru was frightened she had never seen Taiki like this. He was always in complete control. "You tell me that we don't have sex now because you don't believe in protection! So I respected you and we didn't have sex on our honeymoon. I let you sleep in your own room! I give you everything you want! What do I get in return wife?" His strong hands were tight on her shoulders and hurting her badly.

She let out a little cry. "Taiki you're hurting me."

The anger in his eyes was gone immediately. "I'm sorry Michiru. I don't know what came over me. Of course I will respect your wishes. I am not simply married to you for sex. I love you Michiru goodnight dear." He kissed her cheek gently and dropped the piece of crumpled paper and slammed his door.

Michiru curiously grabbed the piece of paper. It was a wedding invitation. _Oh God. _Michiru fell to the couch and began to cry. She had cheated on her husband, a husband who gave her everything! He had been her best friend since she was a little girl! He didn't want _her_ heart; he had married her out of the goodness of his _own_ heart, out of friendship. He wanted Ami, the girl he had always been in love with, but Michiru begged him for marriage. And now they barely spoke anymore. What had her life become? Taiki, the man that was always there, who knew her better than anyone, who sacrificed literally everything for her, was broken, and it was all her fault.

Michiru cried for a long time. She was so conflicted. She loved Taiki, but as a friend and nothing more. It didn't matter anymore. Ami was getting married. Ami didn't come to Michiru and Taiki's wedding. Michiru was so selfish and she hated herself for it. She was done being selfish.

She would march herself in there and tell Taiki what she had done. Michiru knocked. Taiki walked over and unlocked his door. "Ahh wife," he smiled but his eyes were red and puffy. "Come in." He was shirtless and Michiru noticed he had become very muscular.

Michiru swallowed hard. "Taiki I- -"

"Oh Michiru, I'm so sorry I did that. You are my best friend and I hurt your shoulders. Are they ok? I love you and you are my best friend in the whole world and I miss you. I wanted to tell you all of this when you came home tonight but I messed it up. You're tired and I wanted to drop this heavy shit on you. Please forgive me. I'm horrible." He hugged her tightly. "I know you don't feel that way toward me. I thought I could make you pretend. I need to admit something to you." Michiru tried to interrupt but he stuck his hand out. "Ami is getting married. She sent us an invitation to her wedding. When I saw it I thought I could erase my hurt by hurting you. I'm so sorry please, forgive me."

Michiru was stunned. _Oh God. _"Taiki dear I'm so sorry but there's really something I need to tell you. At the wedding party tonight I- -"

Taiki let out a little sob. "I've thought about cheating on you with her before. She's given me plenty of invitations to. Trust me it was so hard to deny! I've had so many impure thoughts about her! Please Michiru forgive me!"

Michiru felt nauseous. She had to leave. "Taiki of course I forgive you. I love you and I'm sorry. Everything will be ok." She kissed him which made her feel more nauseous. "I'll go make you a cup of tea dear." Michiru walked slowly toward the door and closed it gently smiling back at Taiki all the way, he seemed happier. Once it was closed she sprinted to the bathroom and vomited into the toilet. _What have I done?_

**~hpsailorstarluver**


	7. ch 7 A NonNaked Face

_Haruka collapsed and rolled off the main road. She was exhausted. How burnt was the house? I smelled burnt flesh? I wonder if they will be able to tell that he was murdered. I'll have to lie low and get as far away from this place as possible. It doesn't matter anyway. My family hates me anyway. Now that she's dead I don't even care what happens to me. If only that fireman would have just let me burn._

_A few days past and Haruka was still in town. She slept on playgrounds and hid in dumpsters throughout the day drinking whatever she could find or steal. She checked the newspapers everyday and finally the Sunday paper came out. _

LOCAL HOUSE BURNT DOWN WITH TWO UNIDENTIFIABLE SUBJECTS INVOLVED

_Haruka read the article. The man in the house was suspected to have committed suicide and then lit his own house on fire. However, when they talked to a local fireman, he had carried a man out of the house. No one is too sure what happened because it was an abandoned house he was living in and no one has been reported missing._

_Haruka was relieved. The fireman thought it was a man who he carried out. She would never be suspected. She could live her life in peace. She was about to throw the article away when she looked at it again. A man was carried out of the house. Haruka smiled. A man. That would fix all of her problems. No one would judge her for liking women. She just couldn't get too close to them. Everything would change in her life. She would turn over a new leaf. It's what _she _would want Haruka to do._

* * *

Haruka stopped screaming. She was so sweaty, but cold. She breathed deeply. _I promised her I would turn over a new leaf. She deserves better than that. She would want me to be happy. She would hate this alcoholic depressed Haruka._

She looked at the bottle of whiskey on the piano. Four years had gone by since that day. _Four years? And what do I have to show for that? What have I done with my life? Nothing, all I've done is drink. _She looked at the bottle again. _Maybe I really can start letting go of her. I can let my heart heal a little bit. Then again, can my heart ever heal? Can I ever forgive myself for what I did to the man who raped me? Am I a horrible person for _not _regretting it? Oh god. I'm involving Michiru in all of this._ She took one last look at the bottle, grabbed it and poured it out on the porch. Her naked body felt safer with the alcoholic puddle on the ground.

She stared at the moon for hours. She thought of Michiru. She thought of _her. _She thought of the man she killed. She thought of her past. She thought of everything.

Haruka smiled. She felt better, not much better, but a little better. She watched the sun rise and decided to go to sleep. Everything would be ok. Not today, not tomorrow, not in a week or in a month, but someday.

Haruka slept with dreams of Michiru that morning. It was the first time in three years she didn't have a nightmare. A phone woke her up instead of a scream. It was refreshing and Haruka couldn't help but laugh as she said hello.

Michiru couldn't help but smile. "Haruka, we need to talk. Will you meet me somewhere?"

Haruka was ecstatic to hear her voice. "Of course! Where do you want to meet? How about my place? We could pick up where we left off yesterday."

Damn Haruka's voice was sexy. Michiru had to stop herself from saying yes. "No, how about a coffee shop?" Michiru quickly added so she wouldn't hurt Haruka's feelings too much. "I want to get to know you better." _Bad idea Michiru you _are _going to hurt her once you tell her that last night was a mistake. Might as well start hurting her now._

Haruka sounded disappointed. "Okay Michiru, how about we meet at Juro's Java. I need to apologize to him for last night anyways."

Michiru swallowed hard. _At least she'll have someone to make her feel better once I break her heart. God I suck._ "Okay Haruka perfect." _Damnit! What is wrong with me! Why did I lead her on last night? _Michiru banged her head lightly against the wall.

Haruka chuckled. "Great Michiru me either. And this time you won't be in a mask will you?"

Michiru wanted to flirt with her. She had so many sexy things she could say. 'Oh no Haruka my face will be naked. Maybe your body could join me.' or 'I wish that wasn't the only thing that won't be on.' Instead she simply said "No." _God I suck. If only, Haruka._

Haruka sighed silently to herself. Michiru wasn't acting like she had last night. "Are you ok Michiru?"

Michiru rolled her eyes. _Why is she so great? _"I'll explain everything when we see each other. Do you want to meet in an hour?"

Haruka was confident she could make Michiru show some sign of the girl she had met last night. "With that small amount of time I don't know if I can be fully dressed. Maybe I could show off the body parts you told me you liked last night."

Michiru wanted to scream! "Please Haruka, I have to tell you something it is important." She thanked God that Taiki was in the next room cooking breakfast as her constant reminder as to why she wasn't flirting back.

Haruka stopped immediately. "Ok I'm sorry Michiru. I wasn't acting appropriate. Of course I'll meet you in an hour." She hung up the phone before Michiru could hurt her more.

Haruka closed her eyes and prayed to the heavens. _I guess she isn't the girl I thought she was babe. Sorry love, I will have to keep looking for a girl to heal my heart. No one will ever replace you though I promise. I love you. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe she's just sad today. I don't know. I love you._

Haruka opened her eyes and hastily began getting ready. She planned to look her best. If Haruka had learned anything in her life it was that ANYTHING could happen.

* * *

**Please review! Thank you I hope you are enjoying this.**

**hpsailorstarluver**


	8. ch 8 Juro's Java

Michiru's hands were sweaty. Now that Taiki wasn't here, she didn't have her constant reminder. Michiru had never been so attracted to another woman in her life before. Haruka was a sexy pianist! She had a dirty side and a mysterious past. She was everything Michiru wanted. She cursed herself because she wanted to get to know her more. Maybe there was a way she could. That's why she had asked her to come here today. She didn't want anything to happen between them…that's why she had woken up at the crack of dawn and spent two hours picking out an outfit and another two hours getting ready.

Haruka had to admit. She looked sharp and sexy. She had a leather jacket on with lose blue jeans on. Her aviators hid her eyes and she sprayed the perfume Michiru had complimented the night before. Haruka's hair was as neat as it could be but her stubborn hair could never be as perfect as she wanted. She was ready to win Michiru's heart over. She threw on leather gloves and her favorite yellow riding helmet and sped away.

Michiru saw Haruka immediately. She looked even sexier than she had last night. _Oh shit. She has a motorcycle too. Fuck you Mother. _Michiru laughed as Haruka looked right past her without recognizing her.

Haruka looked around but couldn't find Michiru. She felt like such an idiot. _If only I- -_ "Haruka!" She spun around at the sound of the angel's voice. The sight took her breath away. Michiru was gorgeous. Men were staring at her. She had a low-cut, short white dress on that showed off her breasts and legs perfectly. Her hair was perfectly combed without a hair out of place and her sapphire eyes were sparkling. Haruka felt like she was in a dream.

Michiru knew she was hot shit. She was used to men staring at her, but Haruka's eyes were raking over her and it made her blush. "Hi."

Haruka smiled and locked eyes with her. "Hi there. You're beautiful and you look beautiful."

Michiru wished she wasn't so red. "Thank you Haruka." She had to get up the courage to say this fast before Haruka said more. "Listen, I'm going to say this right off the bat. We can't see each other anymore." _Ouch that hurt a lot more to say than I thought._

Haruka's face looked pained. She wasn't expecting that. "What do you mean?"

Michiru turned her head away from her. "We moved too fast last night. I barely know you. I have a lot of stuff going on in my life right now and I just can't be with you." Michiru felt like crying she couldn't look at her in the eyes.

Haruka grabbed Michiru's chin and turned her face back toward her. "Look at me." Michiru complied. "I don't care about the sexual stuff with you Michiru. I just have a flirty personality and you flirted back with me that's why I continued. I just want to spend a little time with you. You're fun and beautiful and I really like you. Please just give me a chance."

Michiru thought it would be a good time to drop the bomb but she couldn't. "Haruka I really like you too but if you knew what I went through you would- -"

"Lina."

Michiru looked confused. "What does that mean?"

Haruka repeated the word. "Lina. That was the girl that I yelled at Juro about. You have no idea how hard it was for me to kiss you last night. She meant the world to me but she can't be here anymore. She died." Haruka swallowed hard. It had been so long since she said or even thought her name. "If you knew how much _I've _been through Michiru, you would give me this chance please."

Michiru shook her head. "I can't."

Haruka leaned in closer. "Please Michiru. I need this chance."

Michiru wanted to kiss her so badly but she couldn't. "No Haruka. I thought you were someone I might be interested in but I was wrong. I just can't."

Haruka leaned in closer but Michiru shoved her away. Haruka put her hands up. "Ok Michiru. You win. I'll leave you alone. But I know this isn't what you want. You'll regret this forever. I know there was a spark. I felt it when you kissed me."

Haruka went into the back of the coffee shop to talk to Juro and left Michiru alone.

Michiru slumped into the chair. _You have no idea how much I'm already regretting this Haruka. But it's for Taiki._

Haruka apologized briefly to Juro. There wasn't much to say he was in a good mood so it didn't take long. When she came back out Michiru was gone. Haruka sighed. _Oh well. It wasn't meant to be I guess. _Haruka's heart betrayed her mind though. She hopped on her bike and made up her mind quickly. She wasn't going to give up that easily.

Haruka arrived at the apartment building where she had dropped Michiru off the night before. She wondered which one was hers. _Fuck._


	9. ch 9 Goodbye My Almost Lover

Haruka walked up to the woman at front desk and smiled. "Hey there pretty lady will you do me a favor?"

The woman looked Haruka up and down. It was scary how easily Haruka passed for a man. "And what favor can I do you sugar?"

Haruka leaned against the counter. "Will you please tell me what room Michiru Kaiou is in?" The woman frowned. "Oh don't worry pretty lady she's just an old friend."

The woman clicked her pen against the counter. "You know we're not really supposed to disclose that information."

Haruka pulled off her sunglasses to show off her emerald green eyes. "I want to surprise her. You understand don't you pretty lady?"

The woman rolled her eyes and wrote down her number on a card. She tried to hand it to Haruka but held onto it when Haruka's hand met hers. Haruka giggled and pulled the card away. "Thanks pretty lady."

The woman stood up to get a better look at Haruka as she walked away. "You come back now ya hear?"

Haruka laughed as she rode up the elevator to Michiru's floor. She was feeling cocky as she strolled over to Michiru's door.

Knock. Knock. Knock. A man opened the door. "May I help you sir?"

Haruka sighed. The woman at the front desk scammed her. _Damnit. _"Well I was going to ask for Michiru Kaiou but I can see she doesn't live- -"

"Who is it dear?" Michiru gasped. She was dressed in housewives clothing and an apron. "Haruka?"

Taiki looked back and forth between them. "What's going on dear?"

Haruka couldn't believe this. "Michiru and I _play _together sometimes don't we beautiful?" She walked in the house and sat on the couch.

Taiki frowned with confusion. "Michiru's never mentioned you before."

Haruka chuckled. "That's funny she never mentioned you either."

Michiru laughed obnoxiously. "Okay well Taiki and I are cooking dinner so…"

Haruka picked up a picture on the table in front of her. On the left was a picture of Taiki and Michiru when they were very little with their arms wrapped around each other and on the right was a picture from their wedding. She checked both of their hands. Wedding rings. "Oh, you're married. Michiru, you didn't have a wedding ring on yesterday did you? Oh did she not tell you Taiki?"

Taiki threw his hands in the air. "What's going on here Michiru?"

Haruka nodded her head as she crossed her legs. "Yes Michiru, what _is _going on here?"

Michiru glared at Haruka. "You couldn't just leave it alone could you? You have no idea what you've done."

Taiki crossed his arms. "Michiru please just explain."

Michiru sighed with tears in her eyes. "Yesterday, at the wedding party, I took off my wedding ring because I play better without it. Then I met Haruka and we played together." She stopped and daggers hit Haruka from Michiru's eyes. "And then we got a drink together and we- - I- -you see- -"

Haruka cleared her throat. "What Michiru's trying to say is," Haruka paused and looked at Michiru lovingly. "I asked her out and tried to make a move on her but she denied me. She didn't tell me she was married because she didn't think it was necessary she thought that saying no would suffice but I thought I was in love with her." Michiru gasped and her breath caught in her throat. "I'm sorry I'll leave."

She shook Taiki's hand. "I'm sorry again. She's a beautiful and wonderful woman you're lucky to have her."

She smiled weakly at Michiru and walked out.

Michiru looked after her with an astonished face. _She loves me? She barely knows me._ _She saved my ass!_

Taiki seemed relieved. "Well that was strange wasn't it dear?"

Michiru was sobbing quietly. Taiki turned around. "Michiru what's wrong?"

Michiru was done lying. She couldn't take it anymore. She would just say it flat out. "Taiki. Haruka lied. We kissed. We made out. We wanted more. We wanted to fuck. We wanted children. We want each other. There was a spark between us. We saw each other for who we really are. I need her."

Taiki shook his head. "That _was_ a woman like I thought."

Michiru sobbed. "I'm so sorry Taiki." It was hard to understand her. Only Taiki, her best friend could understand her. "I'm sorry Taiki. I love you but only as a friend."

Taiki let out a little sigh. "Why did you lie to me? After my beautiful speech too."

Michiru scoffed. "I know. I know. It was really beautiful and I'm terrible I know I'm sorry. I'll do anything and everything for your forgiveness."

Taiki chuckled. "Michiru you're not terrible. You're right; I love you only as a friend. Michiru," he wrapped his hands around her. "You saved my life once. I thought that marrying you like you asked would repay my debt, but I was wrong. It's my turn to save _you_r life. Go to her!"

Michiru shook her head. "What about my Mother?"

Taiki shook her lightly. "Who cares? You're an adult! Do this for _me _Michiru please? I love Ami. I have to stop her marriage. We deserve real happiness don't we?"

Michiru nodded. "You're my best friend Taiki Kou. And you've been my best friend since we were four years old. I'll never forget you."

She hugged him tightly. Tears rolled down her face. "I'll miss your long beautiful brown hair. I'll miss your constant reading sessions. Everything will be different between us now won't it?"

Taiki dried her tears. "Yes it will be different Michiru, but just know that we can truly be best friends now and that once we have our significant other, our lives will finally be complete."

Michiru felt so happy. "I love you Taiki. Thank you. I am sorry I kept that from you. I'll make it up to you I promise. You've always done everything for me. You gave up everything for me. You really are my best friend and I'll never forget that or you."

She kissed him sweetly and walked out. Their paths would cross again, but this time it would be just as friends.

* * *

**~hpsailorstarluver**


	10. ch 10 Freedom Ami

Haruka hated this sick feeling in her stomach. _How could I have been so stupid! I can't believe I fell for her bullshit. _Haruka revved her engine and sped faster and faster down the crowded road. She craved more speed. Down the side streets she screeched. _More speed. More! _

Tears fought her eyes but Haruka shook her head. _No. Leave it. She doesn't matter. _

Haruka gasped as a woman crossed the street with a book covering her face. Haruka wouldn't be able to stop in time! "MOVE!" Haruka leaned hard to the right and fell hard against the cement. Her bike crashed into a tree and she skid into a bush that stopped her.

* * *

Haruka woke up hyperventilating. She didn't know where she was and her head hurt badly. A familiar woman's voice was so far away. _Who is that? What is she saying?_ "Come on Haruka, wake up." _Wake up? Am I not awake? _She forced her eyes open. A pretty girl with short blue hair that matched her eyes was staring at her. "Ami? Oh my God Ami is that really you?"

Ami Mizuno smiled as tears swelled into her eyes. "Haruka, I thought you were dead. After Lina…" her voice trailed off. "Well, there were rumors that you died. I've missed you so much..."

Haruka coughed uncontrollably. She hadn't seen her cousin since the incident with Lina. "Ami, I'm sorry I almost ran you over."

Ami laughed even though tears dripped down her face. "Haruka what happened? Tell me everything. Please?"

Haruka gasped and threw her body forward as she realized what was going on. What if someone recognized her? Would they suspect her for the fire that happened so long ago?

Ami pushed her down. "Haruka what is wrong with you?"

Haruka had no time to explain. "I have to get out of here!"

"Haruka you have to calm down, you have very severe injuries!" Ami stood up now.

Haruka shook her head. "I can't Ami, I have to get out of here. The fire." Haruka collapsed onto the floor.

"HARUKA!" Ami pulled her onto the bed.

_Haruka dreamt of kissing Michiru. She loved the way her lips tasted. She was so happy. You are mine forever Michiru! What no, I don't want to wake up! Please let me just stay with Michiru. Haruka lifted up Michiru's veil. It wasn't Michiru at all. It was Lina. Lina my love._ Haruka started screaming. "NO STOP PLEASE! LEAVE US ALONE!"

There were doctors all around. _They know I killed him. I'm sorry I was heartbroken. Please leave me alone!_

Haruka woke up. She was still in the hospital but she couldn't move. "Ami?" She struggled to get out of the restraints the doctors had placed upon her.

Ami was holding her hand. "It's okay Haruka, please calm down and I'll try to help you okay?

Haruka breathed in deeply. "Ami, there was a fire. That was my fault. I killed the son of a bitch who raped me and who was in charge of killing Lina. I emptied my gun on him and then I tried to kill myself by burning the house down." She was crying again.

Ami gasped. "Haruka, what are you talking about?"

Haruka nodded. "Don't you see?" She was shaking like crazy. "That's why I ran away. They're gonna throw me in prison. I'm done for."

Ami squeezed Haruka's hand. "Haruka, please, tell me what happened."

Haruka repeated the story to Ami. By the end she was sobbing again and it was hard for Ami to understand what she was saying. "Well you know what happened with Lina… But after what happened with me and Lina and after the funeral…" Her voice turned husky and evil. "I hunted down all of those fucking men. All the ones involved until there was only one left. It took forever but I finally did it. I found him and that's- -"

Ami nodded. "That was the story on the news…the mystery fire. That was the night you disappeared. The night I never saw you again. Why didn't you tell me Haruka? We were so close. You would call me every day. The whole family has been so worried!"

Haruka wiped her tears away although they were both crying now. "Ami, they're going to know I was involved."

Ami shook her head. "I'll figure something out Haruka. I promise. But for now you should rest. Everything will be okay." She massaged Haruka's hair gently. "I'm so happy you are okay." She reached down to Haruka and hugged her tightly. "I love you. God help me. I love you."

* * *

A few hours later Haruka awoke. Ami wasn't in her chair and she was sad to see her missing. Her cousin was the first person Haruka had told about being a lesbian. It was the best decision she had ever made because Ami introduced Haruka to Lina. Ami and Haruka had been inseparable since they were children. Now she was back and Haruka couldn't be happier. Ami reminded her of Lina so much it ached. Just a little bit.

Haruka tried to sit up and groaned at the restraints. What a site she must be. _Damn fool. I might as well be in a damn mental hospital._ At least the bush stopped her from crashing.

A nurse came in and checked on Haruka asking question after question. Haruka used her charm and the nurse released her from the restraints and Haruka would only have to be there for another day and then she could go home.

The door shut and Haruka's mind drifted to Michiru. She wished she could just forget about her! God how she hated this terrible feeling. Even a hospital bed couldn't make it go away. She wished Michiru wasn't married and everything could be perfect between them like how it was before she knew about that man. What was his name? She couldn't remember. Thanfully, Haruka drifted into sleep.

* * *

Ami returned later like she promised with good news. "Haruka look!" She handed her an old newspaper. "I found this at the library. It's about the fire. I'm sorry it took me so long!"

Haruka tried to read it but the words were blurry and Haruka threw up. The fire was too painful to think about, let alone read about it.

Ami wiped her mouth and kissed her forehead. "It's ok Haruka. Here. Look. The case was dismissed as a suicide! A fireman said he saved someone from the house but was actually killed a few weeks later by another fire. It is strange Haruka, after you left, several "exciting" incidents began to happen to the town. You're free Haruka." Ami smiled. "The case was thrown out. No one will ever bring it up again." Ami was beaming.

Haruka felt like jumping with joy. She was finally free! "Oh Ami thank you! You are the greatest friend in the world! Ow." She threw up a little more.

The girls laughed and laughed and they embraced. "It's good to be free." They said at the same time and began laughing again.

It _was_ definitely good to be free.


End file.
